


The Guard's Treasured Hare

by traumschwinge



Series: Guard and Royalty [2]
Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5060170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traumschwinge/pseuds/traumschwinge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More than two decades have passed since he's left the Domes and made himself a new life far away from the technology, pressure and headbreak of the world he grew up in. But after all this time, his old life comes back to him uninvited in the form of an unconscious young man lying in the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Guard's Treasured Hare

It was a rainy day. There were a lot of rainy days, almost all of them really, in this place. It was one of the reasons why he’d chosen it to settle down, after years of… working, earning money to finally rest... but mostly of running from himself and his past. It hadn’t been difficult to get jobs when he was younger, unknown to the employers who just saw a very highly skilled and trained gun for hire in him. Now, of course, people who had worked with him for decades realized that he wasn’t aging like them, not exactly. His mutation, something he hadn’t cared for for most his life, was now keeping him young and healthy past his time. It was a cruel fate, for somebody who had once set out from his home to find a place to die only to realize that he had also find something that could kill him.

Back in the first years of his second life, there had been days he had been sure would be his last, only for him to survive plasma burning through his chest, structures collapsing on top of him, once even a flock of strange but very heavy birds trampling him down, walking away from all these events with not even scars. During his more sentimental nights, he was glad he hadn’t known it in his first life, or he’d been so much more reckless. Those thoughts were usually followed with a few glasses of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on, drowning out the memories in sweet inebriation. It was hard not to drink when you knew it couldn’t kill you, the headaches were never for long and there were so many memories to silence there wasn’t enough alcohol in the known universe to stop them from haunting him. So he drank, always alone, never in company.

The cabin he now lived in when he wasn’t hired someplace else in the galaxy lay on a rocky mountainside, near a cliff, but with still enough trees around to hide it from anyone curious enough to come look for him. During the day, he often roamed the forest, learning and observing, a very new experience for a former city dweller, raised in one of the most modern complexes in the galaxy. But that had been his first life, his second life had him know nature, both as friend and enemy, not just as something domesticated in domes and flowerpots. At night, he kept out the stars with heavy shutters and craved wood to keep his hands busy and his mind from wandering. The years had made him tired of all the memories.

He'd gone out into the woods this morning, to cut down a tree that needed cutting to let the ones around it flourish and that was perfect to do woodworks from. He'd need to get down into the village in a few weeks to replenish his stash of everything he couldn't get in the woods. Using an axe, a saw, knives, all had something strangely calming to him. The old metal tools made it easy for him to just lose himself in his work.

He was halfway through the trunk, when a bang disturbed the serenity. Scared birds fluttered up, screaming and scattering raindrops from the leaves they brushed. Some of them landed in his neck, breaking his trance. This bang hadn't been natural he knew. He should investigate. But something kept him back.

He'd heard that noise before. He just couldn't remember it properly. It wasn't something from his second life, it stirred a memory older than that. Something that brought the faint smell of sulphur with it in his memory.

Knowing that this could be only the first sign of a catastrophe—like the end of his life as a recluse—he put down his saw with his other tools, going to investigate with no visible weapons. The noise had come from a little higher up the mountain, an area he knew to be rutted, gashed, with less trees and much more undergrowth. If he hadn’t heard the noise, he would have thought the birds had been scared by a falling rock. As it was, he moved slower when he came close, keeping in cover while moving to where he assumed the noise had come from, always ready to run, jump, or hide.

At the bottom of one of the gashes in the rocky ground, he saw something blue. It didn’t move. But it didn’t belong either. It was no bird and the animals in these woods were brown and green mostly. It was to late in the year for a flower to bloom that perfectly blue. Quiet, quieter even than some animals, he moved to get a better look.

A better look turned out to mean directly above the blue. It turned out to be the hair of what looked like a young man, lying on the ground, face down and unmoving. But the more he looked, the surer he was the young man was still breathing. As quickly as he could, he climbed down the second he was sure they were alone.

He felt the young man’s pulse, oddly relieved to find it, faint but steady, in tune with even breaths. Fur was covering the young man’s body, thin, short but strong and healthy looking. There was a tail as well, with clothes accommodating for such an appendage. _Alien or mutant,_ he wondered. Not that it was important. He couldn’t let the young man lie here out in the open, where weather and animals found an easy target. So he lifted the young man up, throwing him over his shoulder like a sack. It was a long way back to his hut, and he would need his hands to get out of the gash. And it was not like the young man could protest this treatment, unconscious as he was.

~*~

Kurt woke in a musty smelling bed, on a straw filled mattress and furs on top of the scratchy blanket thrown over him. It was nice and warm, if he'd know where he was, he could have gone right back to sleep. Instead, he forced his eyes open to take in his surroundings. The room he was in was dim, with only a fire in the herd for light, the shutters in front of the windows closed and only one wooden door as the exit. It looked very different from any house he'd stayed on his travels and nothing at all like the glass and metal domes he'd grown up in. It looked sparse and a little poor, but homely at the same time.

It didn’t look like whoever had taken him into this hut had hostile intentions towards him, but then again he’d always been told he was too trusting for his own good. He had only burnt once in his life, though, and despite that wound still being fresh on his mind, he still trusted that somebody who picked him up while he lay unconscious on and between some rocks and put him into bed, wasn’t going to kill him right away. He slowly sat up, balancing his weight on the straw. His head hurt a little. He shouldn’t have teleported around that much, but then again, it had probably saved his life.

There were noises coming from the outside, heavy steps and the banging of wood and metal against wood, ripping or breaking, followed by a few grunts and more ripping. Kurt shuddered. Some of the noises had sounded like bones breaking. Kurt tried to teleport away, but he was too tired to even move out of bed on his feet. Kurt shifted so he could lean his back against the wall. The longer he listened, the more he realized how regular and in that soothing they were.

He must have nodded off at some point or another, because next thing he knew, he wasn’t alone anymore and it was even darker in the room. That was because there was somebody standing in front of the fire, rummaging around there in a big pot. It was smelling really nicely of food. Kurt’s stomach growled.

The big, bearlike man by the fire turned. “You finally awake, elf?” he asked, his voice a low, hoarse growl. He filled a bowl with whatever stew he’d been letting cook in the fireplace, handing it over to Kurt before filling a bowl for himself. He sat down on the lone chair by the table and started to eat. Kurt carefully started to sip at the stew. It tasted surprisingly good for all that it’s ingredients were unidentifiable.

”Where am I?” Kurt asked after a while.

”My home,” the bear growled.

Kurt looked around. "And where exactly in this world is your home? Or these mountains?"

"Would that help you, elf?" the bear made a barking sound that could pass as laughter. "You don't look like you're from this world. Genoshan empire, I'd say." He nodded at Kurt's clothes.

Kurt looked down his front. He was still wearing his travel clothes. How anyone could see the difference between Genoshan fashion and that of any other one of the old empires was a mystery. To him, they looked all the same.

"Based on their military uniforms," the bear huffed.

"Oh," Kurt murmured, touching the pendant around his neck, still properly hidden under his clothes. "Good." He didn't want to sound relieved but the last person that had guessed where he was from had then proceeded to guess his identity and in the end concluded that catching Kurt and holding him for ransom was a good idea.

The bear frowned. "Elf?" he growled, getting up but deciding to stay halfway through the motion. "Who were you running from?"

"Just some guys who thought my family has money," Kurt said, clutching his pendant harder with one hand, hiding his face behind the bowl to finish the last gulps of the stew. "They didn't follow me here, did they?"

The bear shook his head. "Nobody comes up here." He looked at Kurt, squinting a little. "You're lucky. And you need more rest. Lie down and sleep."

"I'm not all that sleepy anymore," Kurt lied. The warm stew made him sleepy again, but it had also reminded him that he was also hungry. "Do you have something to drink?"

"Water? Tea?" the bear offered. He took a earthenware mug from the mantle.

"Tea," Kurt yawned. He watched the bear put some dried plants in the mug and then filled it with hot water from the kettle hanging over the pot. Kurt accepted the mug thankfully. The tea smelled nice and spicy. Kurt took a few deep breaths, inhaling the scent.

Kurt somehow managed to finish the tea without falling asleep. He just leaned against the wall, sipping the tea and warming his hands on the mug. He felt surprisingly at ease in this little hut.

"After you finished your tea, go get more shut eye," the bear chuckled, watching Kurt. "We'll figure out how to get to a spaceport tomorrow."

"Spaceport?" Kurt flinched.

"To get you home." The bear raised an eyebrow. "Don't you want to get home?"

"I..." Kurt started reluctantly. He didn't want to stop traveling just yet, it felt like he had failed if he returned sooner than planned. His uncles would be so disappointed in him after all they had done to make it possible for him to travel despite his social standing.

"You don't," the bear said flatly. He didn't sound displeased. More like he could really empathize with Kurt. "I understand. Me neither." He let out a wistful sigh Kurt was too tired to question.

"Where will you sleep?" Kurt asked because sleep was all his mind could focus on.

The bear smiled. "Don't worry about it, elf. The bed is all yours."

"But...!" Kurt tried to protest but the bear took the mud from his hand and made him lie down with gentle force. "No buts. Rest." When Kurt opened his mouth to protest again, he added, "If you want to repay me, tell me, is King Erik still alive and well?"

Kurt blinked at him, tired and confused. "Of course he is. He's still healthy and fit." He could have imagined it, but for a second first the wistfulness was back on the bear's face, before it was replaced by a bone deep sadness, that then vanished a second later.

"Thank you," the bear murmured, turning around to hide his face. A few moments later, Kurt was asleep.

~*~

The next morning when Kurt woke up, the shutters were open, clear morning light and fresh, cold air streamed inside. He felt much better than the night before, well rested and ready to get out of bed. He stretched, tried to smooth his rumpled clothing and then took a look around. Last night, he hadn't been able to see much aside from the fire. Now he could see that there were furs hanging on the walls and wood carving tools between them. The kettle on the fire was steaming, the stew was bubbling in the pot below. It looked like they always did, day and night.

Outside, he could hear the regular sound of wood being chopped. Kurt only knew that noise from movies. Curious as he was, he slipped into his shoes and went outside. He found the bear behind the hut, a small stack of bigger logs behind him and two about equally big stacks of divided logs on both sides to the hacking block. For a while, Kurt watched in fascinated silence.

"If you wanna make yourself useful, go fetch a bucket of water from the spring a little up the hill, elf," the bear said after a while, wiping his sweaty brow with one hand. Despite how much he was sweating, he was still fully clothed. It looked a little uncomfortable.

Kurt looked around for the bucket the bear had spoken of, finding it by the back wall of the hut. For a moment, he hesitated. "I'm Kurt," he said carefully. "What's your name?"

The bear paused to take a long look at Kurt. "I'm James," he sighed.

"Thanks for taking me in, James," Kurt said, picking up the bucket, before hurrying up the hill to search for the spring. Something about the name had sounded like a lie he shouldn't know the reason of.

The spring was easy enough to find. Kurt was still in hearing shot of the hut when he heard the gentle murmur of water running down steep rocks in tiny waterfalls and cascades. Another five minutes of a walk later, he reached a spring with water so clear he hadn’t ever expected it to find in nature. He tested it with his fingers. The water was icy cold, but still refreshing, so he took off his jacket and scrubbed down his face and arms, before he filled the bucket and headed back down, bucket in one hand, jacket in the other, his pendant bouncing against his chest in tune with his steps. Despite the scares of the past few days, he felt relaxed and happy like he hadn’t often since he left home to see the universe.

However, something went very, absolutely wrong when he returned to the hut. At first, James didn’t pay him any attention, but just as Kurt passed by him, he froze, the axe still raised over his head. For a moment, the blade wavered dangerously, before James let it drop without really caring where it landed. He missed his foot by mere inches. “That pendant,” he demanded. “Where did you get it?” All color had drained from his face, but his eyes were sharp, glued to the pendant around Kurt’s neck.

Kurt took the chain off his neck, carefully handing the delicately crafted hare pendant to James. “My uncle gave it to me, for good luck on my journey,” he explained. “He made me swear to bring it back to him one day. It, it really means a lot to him. He said it was a present from somebody he loves dearly, but the way he looked…” His uncle’s face when he’d told Kurt the story had been heartbroken. “I think that person died before I was even born.”

James didn’t say anything. He was too consumed with turning the hare ever which way, marveling at the way the jeweler had made the metal look like fur and the hare’s face, before he looked on the underside, where Kurt knew the letters EH had been engraved and almost dropped it. He was white as a sheet. His hand shook when he handed the pendant and chain back to Kurt.

”You must leave. Soon. I don’t want you around,” James bellowed all of a sudden. “I will not keep you here until your people start looking for you. Or worse your family. You leave. Tomorrow at the latest. I don’t care. Just GO!” He was still white and shaking but his panic was fueling an anger that ran deep.

Kurt gaped at that eruption. “Excuse me?”

”You heard me, elf, leave!” James growled.

”I don’t understand,” Kurt said, refastening the chain around his neck. “Just yesterday you said…”

”Situation’s changed. I don’t want any possibility of your uncle coming anywhere close this place. So you go.” James crossed his arms in front of his chest.

”Is this about the pendant?” Kurt asked. “Do you know what the H stands for? Because my uncle never told me, even though I guessed right that the E’s for Erik.”

”Do never! Speak that name to me! Again!” James’ voice was an angry roar. Long claws sprang from his knuckles. He threatened Kurt with them. “Out of my eyes before I hurt you!”

Kurt then ran. The look in James’ eyes had been so sad and hurt, he had no doubts that James would lash out like a cornered beast if he stayed.

~*~

Kurt had spent the rest of the day searching for a path down the mountain. He only got ahead slowly, with the terrain unknown to him and him getting stuck in places he couldn’t go forward from anymore so he had to backtrack again. Now, the sun was low on the horizon, threatening to set soon and quick. It was time for him to search for a place he could spent the night in relatively sheltered. If only he knew how to light a fire, he would have warmth and light during the night. As it was, he could only hope no wild animal would eat him in his sleep.

He was just wondering what predators dwelled in the woods around here, when he heard a twig snap behind him. He whipped around, just to see James hurrying in his direction, looking rather contrite. "Elf! Kurt!" he called out. "Wait up."

Kurt waited, until James came to a halt a few feet away from him. "I..." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," James declared. "I overreacted. But... That hare, it scared me. Reminded me of things I'd rather forget." He looked up at the sun. "Would you please come back to my home? The woods are not safe at night when you don't know the area."

"You'll let me stay...?" Kurt was unsure whether to believe James or not. But another night in a house sounded so much nicer than sleeping out in the woods.

James nodded. "For a few days until you're back to your old strength. And then I'll take you to the port myself. Alright?" He held out his hand. "I'm sorry about earlier."

Kurt swallowed. For another short moment he hesitated, then he took James' hand. "Alright," he said.

They turned around and James led the way back uphill. For a long while, neither of them said anything. Kurt was quite thankful for that. It was getting harder to see where he was going by the minute and he was slowly getting out of breath. He didn't have the air nor the breath for holding up one side of a conversation.

"That H is for my last name," James started up eventually. "Thought you deserved to know. I gave it to your..." He swallowed. "To your uncle. He... He meant a lot to me back then." For another few moments, James was silent again. When he started up once more, his voice was thick with an age old grief. "I knew there was never a chance for us, but..." His voice broke. "Some rare days we liked to dream."

Kurt didn't know what to say. He would have liked to hug James who sounded so sad. The only thing that bothered him was that he'd never heard the name James before. There had been another man before his uncles had married but neither had ever said a name then.

"Did he ever tell why a hare?" James asked. Kurt somehow managed to get out a no between laboured breaths. "I told him because he always was so scared of anyone and anything coming close to him. But in reality it was because I read when you light a harvested field on fire, hares don't run away from the fire, they run right into it and jump over the flames. And that reminded me of your uncle. He always took dangers head on and made it through even though he did not realize it most of the times." James took a deep breath. "We're almost there. Why don't you tell me about your parents over dinner. I haven't heard anything of Raven in decades. Does she still make everyone get their shit together and done? Is your dad still making security cry with his teleportation?" He sighed. "I kinda miss the domes."

"Don't," Kurt panted, gulping in breaths and swallowing a few times before he tried talking again. "Don't you like it. It here? All this. Wild. Ungroomed. Nature?"

James laughed. "It's alright," he said. "You get used to it. It's really lonely up here though. Kinda why I chose it. But there are days..."

"You could. Let me. Stay. A while," Kurt suggested. His lungs were almost burning with each breath he took.

James shot him a look. "We're really almost there. Can you make it a little further?" He sounded worried. "I can carry you."

Kurt shook his head, somehow managing to get out a "no thanks". James then allowed him to get a break with the talking. For the following few minutes until they finally could see the hut in the dark they walked in silence.

James let Kurt into the hut. The fire had burned down to embers and it was dark and gloomy with almost no lights on in the hut. James went straight to the herd, putting more logs on the embers and getting the fire going again. Kurt made himself useful by going around closing the shutters against the cold at night. He still wondered a little how people could live without windows. By the time he got back in, there were flames in the herd and James was poking at the stew in the pot.

"Good thing you brought water this morning," James said. "If you want a tea, water should be ready in a bit."

Kurt sat down on the bed cross legged, balancing his weight with his tail so he was sitting without falling over or wobbling on the unsteady hay. James laughed when he saw it. "I do have a chair, you know?"

Kurt looked to the chair, then pointedly back at James. "You have one chair." He crossed his arms behind his head and fell backwards until he was leaning against the wall in a half-lying half-sitting position. "I think this is comfy."

James snorted. "Whatever you say, my Prince." He rolled his eyes, then, catching what he'd said, pulled a hurt face and turned back to the fire. "Just don't hurt yourself," he said gruffly. He made two mugs of steaming tea, handling all the implements necessary with a little more than the usual force. Kurt had to get up and get his tea himself this time, because James was too busy not to look at him.

”You know,” Kurt mused, turning his mug this way and that. “For somebody who grew up with my uncle, you’re sure lacking in gray hair and wrinkles.” He was staring at the back of James’ head, at an particularly thick tangle of hair that led him to the distracting question whether or not James allowed small birds to nest in his hair each spring to keep his looks up. Too much of James’ bear-like appearance seemed deliberate the longer Kurt looked.

James jumped up so suddenly, he almost hit his head on the underside of the mantle. He turned to glare at Kurt. “Who said I grew up with him?” he growled. “Stop poking your nose into things none of your business.”

But Kurt paid his temper burst no mind. Calm and careful, he took out the pendant from under his jacket, holding it into the fire’s light and turning it this way and that so the flames made it look almost a if the hare’s fur was real and made from the fire of the morning sun. “He said that the hare had been given to him when he was twenty,” he murmured. “And that the man who gave it to him used to be his playmate when he was very little. That means, you’d have to be what… Sixty? Closer to seventy?” He let the hare drop back into his jacket. “Why are you hiding here, this far out on a planet away from everything and anything?”

James looked at him blankly, without saying a word. Kurt knew the look in his eyes, the expression on his face. He’d seen more than one of the older guards at the Domes adapt it whenever they were displeased or angry about something that wasn't in their power to change. On a boring afternoon, one of the retired guardsmen had come to visit and taught it to Kurt. It was useful for all kinds of diplomatic functions. There was still anger and hurt present in James’ eyes when you knew what to look for.

It was then Kurt decided to shift course. Only too clearly he still remembered the look his uncle got any time he remembered something about his former lover. How his shoulders slumped, his face fell, how his eyes clouded with grief and lone tears running down his cheeks when he thought he was alone. Now Kurt knew the man who was the reason for it but he understood less and less why he had left. He could only imagine one thing, he realized when he looked at James and recognized the old soldier in him. “You always knew, the future king and a simple guard had no common future,” Kurt whispered.

James averted his eyes, his shoulders slumping. “Will you push me until I give or break?” he grumbled. “I should have left you in that chasm where I found you.”

”He still misses you,” Kurt continued to push and shove. “Three times a year, for one whole day and night, Uncle Erik refuses to talk and even eat. One of those is his birthday! He-”

”He has _Charles_!” James yelled. Claws shot through the skin between the knuckles of his clenched fists with an audible _snikt_ as they unsheathed. “As it should be!”

Kurt clutched the pendant, drawing James’ eyes to it. “You’re still in love with him,” he said with resolve. “You left him, because you love him and you still do. Right?”

”What do you know?” James snarled. “It’s not like my feelings ever meant anything or changed anything!”

Kurt sighed. “You know, I already know my uncle’s side of the story,” he murmured. “I don’t know you. You can’t make my view on it worse. But you seem nice. So, please, can’t you tell me?”

James withdrew his claws. With a deep sigh, he slumped into the chair. “Tomorrow,” he said, swallowing and looking as old as he was for a moment. “I’m tired. If I admit I still love him, will you leave me alone for tonight?”

Kurt pretended to be thinking for a moment. Then, he nodded. “Agreed.”

James shot him a sad smile. “I still love him. I love him enough to know I shouldn’t make his life harder. If he hurts emotionally for three days a year, it’s still better than him constantly being on the edge of divorcing his husband or pissing off the elites for wanting to elope with a common lover.”

”He was?” Kurt gaped.

James smiled without much humor. “Charles loathed me for exactly that reason. Never got over it. I couldn’t take it, so I left eventually, when I was sure I didn’t destroy too much. I’ve only been there to protect and to serve my King.” He indicated a small bow. “And now I’m free to do whatever I want to. And say what I want to. I don’t think it’s bad.” He laughed tonelessly. “And still I miss the Domes. So yeah, I really still am in love with your uncle.”

Kurt smiled at him. “Thank you,” he said, indicating a bow just like James had. He looked around. “You don’t suppose this bed is wide enough for the two of us?”

That, finally, made James laugh with real humor. “Do you really want to abuse the vulnerability of an old bear like me?”

”Why not?” Kurt liked his lips and then winked, like he’d seen his uncle Charles do sometimes.

James laughed. “After dinner, we can try, alright? I’d also much rather not sleep in the shed again.”

~*~

Kurt was startled awake by a loud bang the following morning. Still sleepy as he was, he rolled around, away from the wall he had been pressed to, ready to either fight or flee the intruders. Only there were no intruders. There just was James, sitting up on the floor with his hand on his head, starting to curse loudly. Kurt couldn’t help but laugh out his relief.

”What’s so funny?” James growled. He was now getting up, straightening his clothes, before rubbing both hands through his beard.

Kurt smiled cheekily. “So the bed wasn’t big enough for two to sleep in it after all.”

”It was,” James huffed. “It’s just not big enough for two to wake up in.” He stretched. “Tea,” he decided. “Breakfast. Then, we’ll get started on preparations for your trip to the port.”

”You promised me your side of the story,” Kurt pouted. He was in no hurry to leave James for the spaceport.

”Tonight,” James replied. “After a full day’s work, you earned it, but not sooner.”

All the pouting did nothing to change James mind. After breakfast, he sent Kurt again up to the spring to fetch enough water to fill the barrel behind the hut. James himself vanished into the woods with one of his longer knifes and a roll of string. By the time Kurt was finally done, James was already waiting for him next to a stack of long, young twigs. He had started weaving them together to some round wickerwork.

Next, he showed to Kurt what he had been doing, so he could pass the task onto him, while he went into the woods again. Every now and again, James would return, but most of the day, Kurt was left to his own devices, weaving a basket for whatever reason James had yet to explain to him. When James turned up, he was sometimes carrying small animals, other times plant parts like leaves or roots. Some time after noon, he returned for good, this time carrying a large bracket fungus. He sat down and started gutting the small small animals, before he cut the flesh into thin strips.

Kurt tried to strike up a conversation, to no avail. James only answered in monosyllabic grunts, his eyes always fixed on whatever he was doing to the animals. When he was done, he brought a couple of earthen jars from inside the hut and started to mix the plants with water, after cutting them up or grinding them down to pastes. To some of the jars, he added the meat, others, smaller ones, he filled only with plants and closed them with tight lids after. When everything he’d brought from the woods was safely stored away, he went inside the hut, only to emerge with the big pot in his hands a few minutes later. For the longest while, he was busy scrubbing the pot.

Kurt had finished the bottom of the basket and was slowly working on the walls. It was a lot slower and somewhat more difficult than he’d expected the task to be. He wondered why James needed another basket and what it had to do with traveling to the spaceport. James wouldn’t answer besides a gruff “It’s necessary” when he asked.

Once the pot was scrubbed, he dragged it back into the hut. It was getting colder and the sun would set soon, so Kurt followed him inside with his half finished basket. He then helped collecting the jars. Those with only plants went into the pot, with water up to their lids, the others James simply put on the table. There was a little meat left which they roasted and ate with a small loaf of hardening bread and some cheese for dinner.

Once they were mostly done eating, James suddenly started up, “I was brought to the Royal Domes when I was very small. I don’t even really remember my parents. I think I had a brother, but I’m not sure. All my early memories are just of your uncle Erik and I, playing and getting out basic education together. I also had to help out in the kitchens, I think, while he was getting extra lessons.” He sighed. “He was my whole world and I was the only good part of his.” He had to take a large swig from his tea before he got on with his story.

“The older we got, the less he had time to spend with me. I had the choice between leaving, becoming a page for some other noble that, in hindsight, would have used me to learn about Erik from me and pressure him with that knowledge, or becoming a guard and stay by Erik’s side if only I was good enough. It wasn’t really a choice. Not for me at least. Any opportunity I had to stay with him, no matter how slim, I took. It always was like that. I never told him about the other options. He’d just feel guilty for my sake. And with his,” James paused to scoff. “ _Uncle_ Sebastian still in the picture, I really didn’t want to burden him anymore. Even at eleven, I understood that as the future King, he had so much more pressure on his shoulders than me. The Academy was bad, worst years of my life. And whenever I got back to Erik, he looked even worse than I felt. That was before he knew how to avoid getting used and abused in other people’s intrigues, way before he had the power to shut all that bullshit down.”

James clenched and unclenched his fists. “One day I just snapped,” James laughed. “I told Erik we should just get a bunch of things and run away, make our own life someplace. Of course we got caught before we even had all the stuff together to leave. Erik had to protect me, when all I ever wanted was to protect him.” He laughed without any humor, avoiding to look at Kurt. “Sebastian was so mad at both of us, but mostly at me. We hid from him for an entire night and then avoided him even more than before. That was about at the time when Erik started sneaking into my room at night. To talk and not to be alone when he couldn’t sleep, at first.” He shrugged. “But eventually, we both started getting a little handsy.” James shook his head. “At first, I told myself I was just being nice and did play along because Erik wanted to. I didn’t want to admit that I was in love as well. I knew he was already engaged to be married, eventually at least. He’d never be mine, so why bother loving him like he could be.” He was clutching his mug so tight his knuckles turned white. “Not that my heart listened. I always, always hoped. Because I knew his heart was mine just as much as my whole being was his. I probably hoped, I mean at some point, we could have, maybe, been equals.”

He fell silent for a long while. Kurt waited for him to continue. When it became obvious that James had no intention at all to continue beyond that, Kurt reached out to pat his wrist. He could feel some wetness there. “Let’s get some sleep now. You can tell me the rest of it tomorrow.”

James nodded, barely visible. He threw another log on the fire, tending to it while Kurt was getting ready for bed. Neither of them found all that much rest that night.

~*~

The next day passed much the same as the last. Kurt sat behind the hut, doing his best to finish the basket to James’ satisfaction on this day. All the while, James was doing mysterious things out of his sight. Today, however, he was mostly in the hut, fussing about with the meat he’d marinaded the day before. When he was done, he started tidying up a little, sharpening his tools, and generally staying out of Kurt’s way until Kurt called for him to help with finishing the basket.

From near where he stored his logs, James pulled out a second basket, much like the one Kurt had made. The only difference were the two lengths of rope attached to it, turning the basket into a rudimentary rucksack. Kurt was astonished by the idea and told as much to James who just laughed. He helped Kurt with the straps of his own wicker rucksack. After that, they went back into the hut to load the baskets with the now dried meat stripes and the jars James had filled with the roots and plant pastes. James then added delicate woodcarvings on the top, to sell them in town as he explained in a gruff voice.

”We should sleep early tonight,” James said while he was preparing a meager dinner. “We need to set off at about dawn if we don’t want to risk staying in the woods for a night or arriving at the nearest village after dusk.”

Kurt nodded. A part of him dreaded walking all day, but without knowing where he had to go, he couldn’t just teleport. There wasn’t much of a choice for him.

”So, you wanted to hear the sad end of the fucking sob story, right?” James sighed. “Erik married. As soon as the wedding was announced, I waited every day for Erik to end our affair. Instead, he grew clingier. I mean, he tried be nice to Charles. He just didn’t dare to trust him enough to start loving him.” James ruffled his hair. “I should have ended it. At the latest when Charles confronted me and demanded it ended. But I couldn’t. I loved Erik. Every time I was about to end it, I thought of a thousand reasons not to.” He spoke hurriedly, as if getting it over quicker would make it hurt less. “But I knew my duty, so I also did everything I could to serve my King and country. Which meant to make Erik open up to Charles. It took a while, but in the end, I couldn’t take it anymore. I tell myself I only waited until Erik could be left safely, but in truth, I was loathe to go. I know Charles was jealous of me, but the feeling was always mutual. After all, he was in the position I always wanted to be in, by Erik’s side forever.” He shrugged, looking so small and helpless it was almost comical with his bear-like exterior. “I was on the losing side from the start, so I left without a fight. Better to flee and stay alive than fight, die and do collateral damage.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?”

”Yes!” James snapped. “What did you expect? For me to wait until Charles banishes me and then watch Erik either break my heart by choosing the right side or fight his husband? Are you crazy? There was nothing I could do.” He leaned back, covering his eyes with his arm. “I am worn and tired. Let me have my rest from all the heartache.”

Kurt nodded solemnly. “I know this doesn’t help much, but,” he whispered. “For your sake and my uncle’s, I really wish the circumstances would have been different.”

”Me too, bub, me too,” James sighed.

~*~

Walking for an entire day turned out to be even worse than Kurt had expected. He didn’t even mind that James was mostly lost in his own thoughts and thus wasn’t talking a lot aside from the occasional warning not to step in the wrong place. They had reached the village at the foot of the mountains shortly before dusk. James knocked at a door rather determined, and after a short discussion, he handed the man who had opened a nice necklace for his wife and they were led into the shed behind the house to stay the night. Kurt fell asleep almost as soon as he hit the hay.

Two more days that were much the same followed. They would set off at dawn, only to reach the next village around dusk, where James would exchanged woodcarvings for a place to sleep. At the evening of the fourth day since they’d left the hut, when Kurt was at the verge of just randomly teleporting ahead just so he didn’t have to walk the distance, they reached a small town, just barely bigger than the villages, but with a small wall around it. There, they slept at the inn. The next day, James told Kurt to do whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t get in trouble, and went off to sell the carvings he’d still left. He came back in the evening without the carvings, but very pleased with himself and his purse full of coins. He said they would take a coach to the city where the spaceport was at, so they’d have a much more convenient journey from then on.

”We?” Kurt asked. He had always assumed, the minute James was sure he was on the right way and couldn’t miss the port anymore, he’d go back.

James shrugged. “There’s no telling you won’t get in trouble on your way,” he said by means of explanation. “I’d rather knew you off planet for sure before I head back.”

Kurt shot him a long, disbelieving look he had picked up from Erik years ago. Only on his face, it looked impish rather than terrifying. “Are you sure you don’t just enjoy my delightful company?”

James grinned. “Maybe a little.” He ruffled Kurt’s hair, despite protests. “You may be trouble, elf, but I’m almost afraid that you’re exactly my kind of trouble.”

”So, does that mean you’d come travel the galaxy with me for a while?” Kurt asked, strangely hopeful. He hadn’t known James for long, but that didn’t stop him from trusting the man.

James brushed Kurt’s hair back another time. “Lemme sleep about it, alright, bub?” But he was smiling as he said it.

~*~

The next morning, Kurt woke up alone in their room. He went about his routine to get ready for the day, but even in that time, James did not return. In the end, Kurt was glad James had explained to him where and when the coach would leave. Even though he waited until the last minute before he had to leave to make it safely, James remained gone.

Kurt went down to the coach station alone, all the way inwardly torn between cursing James for not even saying goodbye and hoping James would just be waiting at the station after going about some of his own business. James wasn’t waiting for him. It didn’t stop Kurt from staying outside the coach for as long as he could, clutching the ticket James had given him the night before. “You said you’d come with me to the port,” Kurt muttered under his breath.

He was too busy fighting down the overpowering sense of disappointment tightening his chest to notice the man coming up behind him. A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. “What are you still doing out here? The coach will leave soon,” James growled behind him.

Kurt turned around and all but flung himself at James. “I thought you wouldn’t come,” he admitted. It wasn’t until he looked up at James’ face that he noticed the beard and unruly hair were gone. Kurt ran an appreciative hand over James’ cheek and up through his hair. “This looks nice. But why…?”

”Can’t travel the galaxy looking like a bear, now, can I?” James smirked. He ruffled Kurt’s hair.

”You’ll come with me?” Kurt was beaming a little.

”For a while, yeah,” James nodded. “And, elf, you can call me Logan. I always liked that name better.”

Kurt shook his head. “And I like James, because to me, that’s you.” He took James’ hand. “Now come on, we don’t want to miss our coach.”


End file.
